Fashionable Poetry

Speakers of English are constantly harping about “Chinglish”, random, ridiculous writings found all over Taiwan and China, usually created by businessmen and government officials as attempts to appease, entice or instruct foreigners. Obviously, such abuse of the English language is not restricted to East Asia. I am certain that similar examples of inappropriate word usage or incorrect grammar can found in other non-English-speaking countries. However, it is taken to a whole new level in East Asia. Signs on walkways tell pedestrians to “Slip and Fall Down Carefully” or provide the direction “To the Boat(s) for Ticket-holding Fits”. There are scrumptious foods like “grilled chicken ass” in the frozen food section of a supermarket, “selected fresh crapmeats” on the menu of a seafood restaurant or “bottled water” in a can available at a convenience store. A “Don’t Disurb” sign at a hospital makes to plea not to leave any over-populated Chinese cities. My all-time favorite is the grocer with the sign “Spread to Fuck the Fruit”. Apparently, when looking up the translation of the Chinese word for “dry”, he inserted the wrong tone and came up with his own version of strawberries and cream.

Perhaps what irks most English speakers about these incoherent messages is that one would think that whoever came up with them would have a relative in the States, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, England or even Scotland with whom they could get a spell check. I could imagine government officials being reluctant due to nationalistic feelings (“Of coulse, we knows what we doing!”) or the knowledge that their superior’s English sucks worse than theirs, but the businessman must realize how such mistakes would hamper their enterprise.

However, the fashion world seems to be immune to any ill-effects of Chinglish. In fact, sayings that appear on various pieces of attire verge on poetry, their meanings clouded in double entendre and multiple layers of understanding approaching the levels of classical poets. The following are examples gleaned from some of my students with my humble attempts at interpreting them.

“Rob a Dub Dub”

Obviously, it is an advocacy of one of China’s important industries, the pirating of western films onto which a new soundtrack can be applied. The repetition of the final two words illustrate one the obstacles many of these entrepreneurs face, that of dubbing and overdubbing a dialogue into not only Mandarin, but also one of the two dozen dialects spoken in the country, thus creating that much beloved theatrical nuance of a voice emanating slightly later than when the actors’ mouths actually move.

LOVE of beauty

Is TASTE

THE

creation of

BEAUTY

is art

This e.e.cummingsesque selection reflects the Oriental passion for culinary delights. Coming from America, where portion size dominates the presentation of any dish, be it a T-bone steak or a submarine sandwich, I have always been struck by the Taiwanese knack for combining outrageously incongruent foodstuffs to appeal to the eye of the diner. Perfect examples include colorful ice cream sprinkles being placed on pale potato salad, while corn flakes are used as a garnish for an ice cream sundae.

Bouncing

off the

WALLS

Businawreck

MARYLAND

The political message of the passage, an indictment of the American government, would be self-evident if I were able to place the winged red, white and blue shield that appeared between “off the” and “WALLS” on my student’s shirt. However, copyright laws, coupled with my lack of interest to search through Google Images for a reasonable facsimile, make it impossible for me to recreate actual scene. The fervor of the words, though, is still palpable through the next to last line, especially when spoken quickly, as was certainly intended by omitting the spaces between the words.

I hope that the minute selection above has piqued your interest in viewing Chinglish not as an affront to your mother tongue, but as a means of expression, one albeit nonsensical and ridiculous, but also a window into the soul of the inscrutable Asians.